


I don't get drunk, I get less classy and more fun

by Quagswagging



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Alcohol, Charles is a disaster, Crack, Cuddling & Snuggling, Drunkenness, Family 44, Fluff and Crack, M/M, Needy Children, Partying, The usual paddock families, and Dan just feels old
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:39:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26358835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quagswagging/pseuds/Quagswagging
Summary: Date a younger man, they said, It will be fun, they said.Or, Max gets drunk with some of the other young driver and Dan needs to somehow get them home.
Relationships: Daniel Ricciardo/Max Verstappen, Kimi Räikkönen/Sebastian Vettel, Lewis Hamilton/Nico Rosberg
Comments: 46
Kudos: 304





	I don't get drunk, I get less classy and more fun

**Author's Note:**

> DO NOT take any part of this serious PLS I BEG  
> But I had a blast writing this, I love them being idiots jsjs
> 
> I have no further explanation for this but pls enjoy!!

Daniel Joseph Ricciardo was many things.

He was a Formula One drive, a race winner and a true talent on track.

He was also a cheery, friendly guy who got along with almost anyone.

But something he was not?

A babysitter. 

Yet here he was, driving some loudly giggling younger drivers home from the pub the group had been at. 

Date a younger man, they said, It will be fun, they said. 

“You’re so beautiful.” Max slurred from the passenger seat, reaching out to poke his fingers into Max’s cheek. Daniel caught his hand, chuckling softly and pressing a kiss to the man’s palm. 

It had been the Dutchman who had called Dan, babbling away about how they were lost and couldn’t find a cab home. Daniel loved his boyfriend, and it was rare for Max to go out with other drivers, so he hadn’t minded to go out to retrieve the group, even when he had already been in bed himself.

But god it made him feel old.

“Care to tell me how you got that lion onesie, baby?” Dan asked Max, letting the younger man clutch on to his hand as that at least kept Max from clumsily swatting at his face again.

“Charles bought it, as a peace ‘ffering.” Max murmured, throwing a giddy smile to the back of the car, where Charles, Lando, George and Alex were all squeezed in on the back seat. Charles returned the smile happily, before showing the zip tie tied around his wrist. 

“He gave me a friendship bracelet.” he muttered, big green eyes filling with tears. Max let out a strangled sound and tried to throw himself in the back seats too, but Dan grabbed ahold of the hood of the lion onesie and pulled him back in his seat.

“I want to hug Charles.” Max whined.

“Put on your seatbelt.” Daniel just answered. 

“Dan, Dan, Daniel!” Lando suddenly whined, excitedly pointing outside. “Can we go to the supermarket to get snacks, _please_.” he begged, pouting at Dan through the mirror.

“I don’t think they are open.” Daniel said. 

“Yes they are!” Alex spoke up, “The sign says so!” he added with a smug grin. Daniel sighed deeply but no one seemed to notice.

“Fine, I’ll go inside to get food for you all, but everyone else stays in the car.” he grumbled, not trusting all the solemn nods he got in return, or the way George leaned into Charles to whisper in his ear.

Daniel had barely parked his car in the parking lot when George threw the door open, him and the other three who had occupied the back seat instantly dropping out. Daniel reached for Max’s hand on instinct, but the Dutchman giggled and got out of the car too before Daniel could stop him. Daniel sighed and quickly followed after him, quickly sending out a message because he now realised he really needed some backup. 

“Lando, sweetie, please get out of the fridge.” Daniel groaned when he entered the supermarket. The small driver had somehow wiggled his way in between the cartons of milk, clutching two to his chest like teddy bears.

“No.” Lando grumbled, pretending not to see Dan. Daniel groaned, feeling even more old, and pulled a cart over.

“If you get out of the fridge you can sit in the cart.” Daniel told him. Lando hesitated, but then got up, still holding on to the two cartons of milk as he sat down in the cart. 

Daniel threw an awkward smile at one of the store employees as he steered the car in direction of Alex and George, who had about 12 bags of sweets and crisps cradled in their arm. Daniel just sighed and motioned at the cart, not being able to repress a smile as Lando was buried under all the packages.

“Did you see Charles and Max?” Daniel asked Alex, who was blushing a deep red now that George, being candy-less, was giving the Thai his full attention. George looped his arms around Alex’s waist, muttering something in his ear and Alex only let out an incoherent squeak.

“Baking supplies.” Alex told Dan with wide eyes.

Daniel didn’t wait to find out whether that was where the other two were, or whether it was where Alex wanted to get supplies for whatever George was muttering in the Thai’s ear. The Aussie took the cart again and wheeled Lando through the supermarket, finding the baking aisle and indeed finding Charles and Max looking at boxed cake mix.

“What are you doing?” Daniel asked with a sigh. Max gave him a wide grin. 

“We’re gonna bake a cake to celebrate our friendship.” he said. Daniel shook his head.

“No, you’re going to pick out some donuts and get your ass back in the car before I just leave you all here.” he muttered, getting frustrated. Charles’s bottom lip wobbled dangerously. 

“Don’t leave us.” he whined.

“You’re leaving us?” Lando whimpered from in the cart, having somehow also snatched a loaf of bread on their way over. 

Daniel closed his eyes in 5 minutes.

“Everyone gets 1 snack. I’ll see you at the check out in 3 minutes.” he decided, before groaning as that caused Max and Charles to instantly run off in a panic. 

“Dan, am tired.” Lando suddenly muttered. 

“You have a pillow.” Dan sighed, patting the loaf of bread before wheeling Lando to the cash desks.

He somehow managed to get everyone outside within 10 minutes after that, making a mental note to inform everyone’s trainers about what abysmal snacks they had chosen. 

“Oh thank god you’re here!” Daniel exclaimed when he suddenly spotted Lewis just outside the supermarket. Lewis had his hoodie pulled up over his head, looking as if he had just rolled out of bed (which was probably the case), and offered the group a tired smile.

“Just here to pick up my half of this mess.” he chuckled. Alex and George instantly walked over to him, babbling excitedly, but Lando had fallen asleep in the cart at some point between the cash desks and the exit. 

“I’ll take him.” Lewis muttered, before turning to Alex and George. “Head to the car, Nico is waiting for you already.” he added. Alex and George bounded off to where Nico was standing, the German seeming even less amused at being up. 

“Lando, work with me.” Lewis groaned, trying to lift Lando out of the cart. The smaller man whined and tried to reach for his milk carton, but then just yawned and snuggled into Lewis instead.

“We’ll pretend like this never happened, okay.” Lewis wheezed out as Lando squeezed him tightly, hanging on to him like a little koala.

“Agreed.” Daniel sighed. “Thanks for helping.” he added, keeping hold of Charles’s collar as Charles seemed to want to head back into the supermarket. 

“No worries, they are my problem after all.” Lewis sighed. “Just make sure you get your two home.” he added, before carrying Lando to the car.

“Charles is coming with us?” Max asked happily. Daniel shook his head.

“No, we need to drop him off still.” he told Max, slinging an arm around the Dutchman’s shoulders. Max smiled at the contact and contentedly cuddled closer. 

“I love you, Dan.” he grinned widely, pressing a sloppy kiss to Dan’s cheek. 

“Yeah yeah, love you too Maxy.” Dan answered in exasperation, leading Max over to the car and pulling Charles after them by holding on to the man’s sleeve. 

It took Daniel a solid 5 minutes to get both men in the car and strapped in their seatbelt, but when he looked over his shoulder he noticed Lewis and Nico had thus far only succeeded at getting Lando in the car.

Daniel didn’t stick around to help anymore - they each had their own gremlins now.

“This is not the way to my house.” Charles mumbled as Daniel drove away. Dan snorted.

“I never said I’d drop you off there.” 

~~~~

“What has he done this time.” Sebastian groaned, opening the door. The German was dressed in sweatpants and an Alfa Romeo shirt that hung loosely around his frame (Dan didn’t make a comment but he could definitely hear someone wandering around the kitchen too). Sebastian frowned a little at Charles, but when the Monégasque instantly propelled himself into the German’s arms for a tight hug, his eyes softened.

“You’re a disaster.” Sebastian muttered against the top of Charles’s head, pressing a kiss to his messy hair and straightening the younger man’s bandana. 

“You can take it from here?” Daniel chuckled. Seb nodded.

“No problem. This is not the most annoying he has ever been." Seb said with a shrug. Charles pouted a little but finally seemed tired, nuzzling into Seb's hold.

"And what do we say to Daniel?" Sebastian told his younger teammate sternly.

“Thank you Daniel.” Charles said with a last lopsided grin, waving at Max who was still seated in the car, half-asleep against the window.

“Good luck with that one.” Seb snorted. Daniel sighed for what felt like the hundredth time that night.

“He is so lucky I love him.”

~~~~

“No Max, you’re sleeping in the spare room.” Daniel said when Max instantly made a beeline for their bedroom, already partially undressed with the onesie hanging low on his hips.

“Don’t you love me anymore?” Max whined. Daniel sighed.

“Yes I do, but you are still very drunk and I want to sleep in peace.” he tutted, pulling a reluctant Max into the spare room. “But I’ll tuck you in, okay?” he added when Max continued to pout. 

“Sorry for being annoying, Dan.” Max murmured when Daniel pulled the blankets over him a good 20 minutes later. Daniel smiled, leaning in to press a chaste kiss to Max’s lips.

“It’s okay, still love you.” he muttered in answer. Max grinned sleepily, eyes fluttering closed.

“I love you too, Dan.” he muttered. Daniel gently brushed his fingers over the bridge of Max’s nose, before getting up.

God he loved this dumb idiot so incredibly much, even when he pulled stunts like this.

 _Especially_ when he pulled stunts like this.

~~~~~~

“Lewy,don’t feel good.” Lando whined, hanging over the toilet bowl to puke his guts out. Lewis walked over to sit with him, gently rubbing the boy’s back.

“Should have just stuck to milk, huh?” he said softly, pushing his fingers through Lando’s sweaty hair. Lando nodded solemnly.

“I’m never drinking again.”

“There we go, all tucked in.” Nico meanwhile sighed, making sure Alex and George stopped slipping off their air mattress. The two were pressed close together, but Nico had snapped at them to keep their hands on top of the blankets, definitely not trusting them (and for good reason). 

“You sure you feel okay.” Nico asked, placing buckets next to the airbeds, before forcing both youngsters to drink water. Lewis came over with Lando, the younger man looking a lot better now.

“You can sleep on the sofa, Lando.” Lewis said. “Roscoe will keep watch.” he added, smiling softly when Lando sat down and instantly let the bulldog snuggle close.

“Good boy.” Nico smiled, leaning in to kiss Lando’s forehead. Lewis did the same, moving to the other boys as well, and then slipped his arm around Nico’s waist.

“We will be in the bedroom if you need us.” Nico said. “Goodnight boys.”

They didn’t get any goodnights in return, all three boys were already asleep.

~~~~~~

“Want to sleep here with you.” Charles whined, clutching on to Sebastian’s chest and trapping the older man on the sofa. Sebastian chuckled and gently stroked Charles’s hair.

“No sweetie, you are sleeping here and I’m sleeping in the bedroom with Kimi.” Sebastian told him, trying to untangle Charles’s fingers from his shirt. Charles sniffled when the German stood up.

“Stop leaving me.” he whimpered. Seb sighed.

“Charles-” he tried, stepping away from the sofa. Charles sniffled some more and stood up too, falling into Seb’s arms again. 

“Stop _leaving_ ” he repeated, letting out a soft sob. Sebastian sighed and hugged him tightly once more.

“Shh, I’m here.” he shushed, gently massaging Charles’s scalp.

“I’ll sleep on the sofa.” Kimi spoke up gruffly, the Finn wandering into the living room.

“No Kimi, he-” Sebastian argued, but the Finn held up his hand.

“I just want to sleep. If he sleeps in the bedroom with you he will at least be _quiet_.” Kimi said, ruffling Charles’s hair a little before firmly sitting down on the sofa to make himself comfortable. 

“Fine.” Sebastian sighed, bringing Charles over to the bedroom.

He would later never admit it, but it was comfortingly to have the young man close to him that night.

It gave Seb hope for the future. He would not lose his loudmouth bother, no matter what would happen.

~~~~~~

Daniel woke up the next morning when Max quietly slipped under the covers next to him.

“Don’t worry, already showered and brushed my teeth.” Max chuckled, making himself comfortable against Dan’s side. Daniel slung an arm around him, pulling him close and letting Max kiss him.

“Headache?” he asked. Max shrugged.

“Nothing I can’t handle.” he promised. Daniel gently rubbed his hand over Max’s stomach.

“How much do you remember from last night?” he asked. Max wrinkled up his nose.

“Not too much. Something with an onesie and a supermarket,” he muttered. Daniel chuckled.

“Is this a good time to tell you that you gave Charles a friendship bracelet?” Daniel teased, before laughing loudly at the horrified expression forming on the Dutchman’s face.

“I’m never, ever drinking alcohol again.” Max groaned dramatically. 

“You even wanted to bake a cake to celebrate your _friendship_.” Daniel added. 

“What did I do to deserve this hell?” Max whined. 

“Wake up your amazing boyfriend in the middle of the night because you were too drunk to focus?” he asked. Max swallowed thickly, giving him a sheepish smile.

“...Fair point.”

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to scream at me in confusion on tumblr: bwoahtastic


End file.
